Every goal-oriented person knows that one of the keys to success is knowing their WHY. Acting as
a North Star, WHY gives our goals true meaning and keeps us moving in the right direction. If you’re like lots of people who have set goals for the New Year, sit down and seriously think about your reasons for setting those goals. Repeatedly ask yourself, “Why are these goals important for me to accomplish?” Your WHY should hit you in the gut and stir up emotions when you talk about it. Otherwise, are your goals really that important ?
German philosopher Frederick Nietzsche once said, ‘He who has a why can endure any how.’
I’m a huge fan of Simon Sinek who is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. Sinek is one of the leading voices helping people live in alignment with their purpose. He is credited with popularizing the concept of WHY. His 2009 TED Talk on this concept still ranks 5th all-time with over 50 million views! One of my favorite quotes of his is:
“Achievement happens when we pursue and attain what we want. Success comes when we are in clear pursuit of why we want it.”
So, does knowing your WHY ensure that you’ll successfully accomplish all your goals? Sadly no. While knowing your WHY is a critically important first step, having the absolute BELIEF that you can succeed is the magic ingredient for true success. We all know that wanting something isn’t the same as getting it. The world is littered with unfilled dreams and wishes. Even a big WHY without BELIEF is doomed to fail. On the other hand, having BELIEF in your ability to be successful coupled with a big WHY, gives you a powerful one-two punch in your quest for success.
Victor Ha, creator of “Big to Small Thinking” introduced the concept of asking WHY NOT in an excellent article titled “The Power of Asking ‘Why Not’ in Addition to Why”. Mr. Ha believes that starting with WHY is no longer enough to ensure success and that asking WHY NOT helps to develop the mental toughness needed to get things done. Even with your WHY you can’t get anywhere without your WHY NOT.
“Your sense of purpose (your ‘why’) determines how far you can go. Your beliefs (your ‘why not’) determine the heights of your achievement”.
Mr. Ha suggests that we ask ourselves three questions to help us build belief and mental toughness to go along with our WHY:
· Why Not Me?
· Why Not This?
· Why Not Now?
Why Not Me?
Most often we don’t believe that we can truly accomplish our dreams. We see others doing things that we’d like to do, but tell ourselves that we don’t have the talent, time, experience, money, connections, or whatever else others seem to have. Instead, we should be saying, “WHY THE HELL NOT ME?” If others have done it, so can you. Remember when it was thought that no one could run a mile under 4 minutes? Once it was accomplished, it became no big deal. Even high school runners now do what was once thought impossible. So why not you? Why not me? Are others really holding us back or are we ourselves to blame? As they say out west, “It’s time to cowboy up!”
Why Not This?
Ever had an idea, goal or project that you were excited about undertaking, but then talked yourself out of because you felt that others wouldn’t support your vision?
When I decided to crowdsource my band's CD, I wasn't sure that our fans would actually give me money to complete it. Since hundreds of artists had successfully crowdsourced their projects, I figured so could we. Fortunately, our fans came through for us. I'm so thankful I didn't chicken out and give up on this idea.
Sometimes we give up on an idea because we tell ourselves it’s been done before. Hell, if the world thought this way, there’d be no new music, books, stage productions, movies, tv shows or anything else new in the world for that matter. An idea or project doesn’t have to reinvent the wheel to be successful. Many of the most successful projects have been new twists on old ideas. If your idea or project brings value to others, it will find an audience.
Why Not Now?
Even when we have our WHY and our goals firmly in mind, most times we don’t get going right away. Instead we make excuses. We’re too busy, the timing isn’t right, we need more information, family and/or obligations are in the way, etc. You know the drill.
Want to get in better shape this year? What are you waiting for? Have you been dreaming about learning to play a musicial instrument, becoming a better dancer, learning to speak a new language, doing a podcast, blogging or starting a business? Why not now?
I love this quote from Amanda Greenberg, CEO of Baloonr. She’s talking about starting a business but she could be talking about starting any project:
“I think that you can never really be ready, but if the obsession is strong, you start anyway. You are so in love with the problem you are solving and the company you are building, that you are willing to dedicate a ton (or all) mental energy in that direction. You are willing to sacrifice important things. You are also willing to take risks and look absurd and be embarrassed…all because you want to solve the problem. When you’re starting up, nobody else cares about your company. So, if that passion and curiosity aren't at the core of what you are doing, then it would be really hard to continuously push forward against the gravity of the world’s existing state to make this new company exist.” – Amanda Greenberg, CEO of Baloonr
Fact is that timing will never be perfect to launch a project or to start working on a goal. You just have to start.
Confidence (the mojo)
When Victor Ha looked at extremely successful people, he found that confidence was the thing that really separated them from their less successful counterparts. Asking themselves WHY NOT built mental toughness which helped give them the confidence to believe that they would be successful. The idea of success wasn’t just a hope and a prayer. Confidence was the mojo that kept them pursuing their goals and dreams no matter what roadblocks they encountered.
Are some people born more confident than others, or is confidence learned and earned? I suppose that some folks are born with more confidence than others, but most people probably gain confidence through their deeds and actions. Being praised by our parents, teachers, mentors, friends and loved ones for acts of courage or accomplishments can definitely increase one’s self-confidence. Remember how good it felt being praised for getting an A on your report card? How did it make you feel when you finally learned how to ride a bike without training wheels?
I love it when my clients tell me how getting stronger and more flexible has allowed them to live their lives with more confidence. They now take on tasks and challenges that in the past they would have avoided or needed help with. Some clients tell me that they can now confidently lift heavy bags of dog food without assistance from anyone. Others report that they now enjoy the challenge of taking longer and more difficult hikes with newfound confidence.
As the saying goes, “New year, new you.” Don’t let this year pass with regret. Setting goals is key to giving your life direction and purpose. Start with a strong WHY to give your goals power. To build mental toughness when you doubt yourself or your back’s against the wall, ask yourself, “ WHY NOT ME? WHY NOT THIS? WHY NOT NOW?”
Read stories and listen to podcasts about people who’ve done what you’re looking to do. This is a great way to build self-confidence. If they can do it, so can you! Hire a coach or find a mentor to help keep you focused and moving in the right direction.
You’ve been dreaming about a better life. Now it’s time to get to work. Playtime is over. Let’s go, you’ve got this!
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Zo Carroll
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